WHEN I DIE, AND I WILL!

"The worse fear is not death, but the discovery that we have never really lived when the time comes for us to die".

Paul T. Wong, PhD.

Death is the reality of every passing day. Every passing moment I live, I actually die. Every day given is actually one taken. The sooner I realize and accept this truth, the better for me; for the reality that one day, I shall depart this World is one which I have often avoided.

Over the past few weeks, especially as I approached my birthday which I celebrated January 4th, the reality of death dawned on me with a whole new light. Death now seemed different. I was now pondering the matter...the always dreaded DEATH. Death is more real than this life I thought, because it is as it unfolds that life is unraveled. It was through death even, that we had our lives back.

In the past few days, I followed the activity of some of my friends, on Facebook, who shared the losses of either their friends or family members. I focused on two things; first being the passion, depth and deep grieve with which they expressed their love and farewell to the departed and secondly, the statistics of the departed which were young men and women, in their prime. And I mean in their prime.

I particularly went to the Facebook timeline of one of the deceased to read more and certainly could not hold back my tears after going through the heart-moving post and messages from his friends. So I asked myself. Is this all there is? So when I die, and I will, is that how you will come to my timeline and write such beautiful eulogy that any who reads be moved into tears? So will all my friends come to recount all that I was, and even what I was not or never was- to the hearing and reading of everyone? So when I die, and I will, will I be a Facebook Icon? Will I be the subject of exclamation and the hot topic online? Is that all I will be and tomorrow not even remembered?

When I die, and I will…it is the reality of every passing day. Have you come to terms with this?

As I mentioned earlier, the current statistics of young people dying is alarming. What’s happening? Why the sudden exit of the young? The table suddenly turned yet no one is asking questions…most rather be in church, claiming long life by answering the loudest “Amen” as a way of dealing with the reality and anxiety of dying.

Did you not hear that it has been appointed for everyone his or her day of departure? What will a man do in order avoid dying?

Why do men fear death? I asked, but I just realized that it's not death they fear. Men fear what lies beyond death. We are afraid of what lies ahead, after we are gone and it is not necessary death itself. For what is there in death to fear?

Is death painful? No. It isn't. The process might be, but in itself it is peaceful. Death is a beautiful thing. For through it we transit this life to the other. Nothing here holds such beauty. If so then why the outright fear, turning and explaining away? According to Existential Positive Psychologist, Paul T. Wong, "The worse fear is not death, but the discovery that we have never really lived when the time comes for us to die. We all have the urge to desire to live fully, to do something significant, and to make a difference, so that we don’t have to dread the death-bed realizing that we have squandered away our precious life. Therefore, we dread a meaningless life as much as we dread the terror of death" (1).

When a man has not settled the course of this eternal destination; when he is not at peace with his Maker, death becomes unfair, bitter and painful.

But yesterday, I sat with my Grandmother and she told me she wanted to go (die). She explained why she needed to go on to her eternal home and rest. And I can’t explain that to you, it is difficult to. You have to speak with her yourself. How can she be so prepared to die like this? I thought? Can a person be this satisfied?

And when my time is come, and it will, will I be ready?

Will you say of me, “Gone too soon” or “Glorious exit”? Will you mourn or celebrate? Would I have died empty or too soon? What will you post on my timeline this time around?

However or whenever I die just remember that Death is the transformation that must happen to us before we can enjoy the real realities that lies before us- in GOD. When we meet Him, then we are done with death.

(1) Wong, P. T. P. (2010) Whats is Existential Positive Psychology. International Journal of Positive  Psychology and Psychotherapy. Vol 3(1).